Yeah... yeah, god, it sure as hell is, huh. [sigh. family, friends, loved ones. she's working on making some of her own here, especially after the night she's just had, but he's still right.]

I had people trying to reach out to me when I was deep in it and I just didn't want to let them in. They were supposed to be people I was, like, holding on to and staying sober for, but it just didn't work. [she's. she can't talk around this. she just said, right, that this is all about no doubletalk and no leaving details out.]

It was my ex's sisters. I was supposed to let myself stay on good terms with them so I didn't end up completely alone even after she dumped me. But I just... couldn't act like a normal person around them. And I didn't know what else to do with my life as a fresh dropout in the city I moved to so I could be with her, like, six months earlier. So I just kept going back to the only thing that made sense. [christ. she's dumping her trauma on him. it disgusts her.]

I need to shove some fucking pizza in my mouth so words stop coming out of it.